The 10 best excuses for failing a drugs test

It's not just on a bicycle that Alberto Contador moves quickly. No sooner had the news broken that the three times Tour de France champion had tested positive for a banned steroid in July, than the Spaniard called a press conference to proclaim his innocence.

Asked why small traces of the muscle-building drug clenbuterol had been found in his urine during a routine drugs test during this year's Tour de France, which he went on to win, Contador claimed "it is a clear case of food contamination".

Apparently the 27-year-old wasn't happy with the French cuisine being served his team, and asked for some meat to be brought from Spain. An excuse as dodgy as his steak or is there a spot for Contador in our top ten of best excuses for failed drugs tests? You be the judge:

LaShawn MerrittHe might have been the world and Olympic 400m champion but the American sprinter was apparently way down the pecking order in other areas. When he failed three drugs tests earlier this year for the steroid Dehydroepiandrosterone, Merritt admitted he had been taking an over-the-counter medicine called ExtenZe, a penis enhancement product.  Banned for two years, the 24-year-old now has plenty of time to fill out his lycra.

Richard GasquetThe French tennis star was suspended in May 2009 after testing positive for cocaine at Sony Ericsson Open in Florida. Gasquet, then ranked 32 in the world, appealed saying the cocaine had entered his system through inadvertent contamination in a nightclub. The "inadvertent" in question was "Pamela",  a woman Gasquet had wooed with his Gallic charm in a Miami nightclub. The Frenchman claimed it was while kissing Pamela au revoir that small traces of cocaine were unwittingly transferred from her to him. The Court of Arbitration for Sport accepted Gasquet's excuse and overturned the ban in December .

Shane Warne The chubby Aussie spinner was sent home from South Africa shortly before the start of the 2003 cricket World Cup after testing positive hydrochlorothiazide and amiloride, both of which are diuretics used to in weight loss pills. Warne revealed the pills were his mum's and said  he'd been taking them for no other reason than to shed some stones. "I was doing a lot of wine promotions. I'd had a couple too many bottles of wine and had a few late nights," he said later, claiming he had no idea the pills were a diuretic. "It was to get rid of a double chin," he admitted. Nonetheless Warne was banned for one year by the Australian Cricket Board, a sentence that left the spinner "devastated".

Dieter Baumann The German distance runner (a gold medallist at the 5,000m in the 1992 Olympics) tested positive for nandrolone in 1999. Vehemently denying that he was a cheat, Baumann offered a hefty financial reward to find the person who had somehow got the substance into his body. Finally Baumann claimed his toothpaste had been spiked with nandrolone, and though the German Athletics Federation believed their man, the IAAF was less forgiving and banned him for two years.

Solomon Wariso The British 200m sprint champion, as Wariso then was when he tested positive for ephedrine in 1994, blamed his failed test on a herbal remedy called "Up Your Gas". He'd bought the product in an American supermarket when he felt in need of a pick-me-up during a long and arduous season. Unfortunately Wariso failed to notice it contained ephedrine and he was banned for three months

Lenny Paul The British bobsleigher declared that his positive test for steroids was the result of eating too much spaghetti Bolognese. In 1997, three years after Paul and his crew had finished fifth in the Lillehammer Olympics, traces of nandrolone were detected in his urine. But Paul produced scientific evidence that showed the drug was in the meat of his spag bol as a result of cattle being injected with steroids by farmers, and the excuse was accepted by the British Bobsleigh Association.

Diego Maradona The Argentine legend had already cheated once at a World Cup and got away with it (against England in 1986) but when he tried to do it a second time the wayward Argentine genius was banged to rights. Having tested positive for ephedrine in the 1994 tournament in the USA, Maradona was sent home in disgrace, complaining all the while that all he had done was neck an energy drink called Rip Fuel, given to him by his trainer, which had contained the illegal substance.

Tyler Hamilton The Tour de France cyclist won an Olympic gold medal in 2004, the same year he tested positive for blood doping. When it was alleged that Hamilton was receiving blood transfusions to boost his performance, the American countered with what became known as his "vanishing twin" excuse. According to Hamilton, the foreign blood cells detected in his body must have come from his twin that died in his mother's womb all those years ago. Either that, or mum herself must have inadvertently got her cells mixed up with her boy's. None it washed and he was given a two year suspension by the US Anti-Doping agency.

Daniel Plaza Gold medallist in the 20km walk at the 1992 Olympics, the Spaniard tested positive for nandrolone four years later but pointed the finger at his missus. Putting a new spin on the kiss and tell story, Plaza told the Spanish Sport Disciplinary Committee that he'd indulged in a spot of oral sex with his pregnant wife the night before his test. And didn't everyone know that pregnant women are chock full of nandrolone? The Committee didn't and banned him for two years.

Ross Rebagliati The chilled-out Canadian snowboarder became the first gold medallist in the giant slalom event in the 1998 Winter Olympics but then tested positive for marijuana. In a defence that could have come from Bill Clinton's book of baloney, Rebagliati said he would never dream of smoking a joint and the positive result must have been as a consequence of attenting a pre-Games party where louche people were partaking of the drug. As marijuana wasn't on the list of banned substances, Rebagliati kept his medal but was warned as to his future conduct. To which he replied that from then on he would wear "a gas mask" to parties. ·