Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2015: best jokes from the past five years

Aug 25, 2015

Is 2015 the funniest Fringe Festival of all? Take a look at some of Edinburgh's best jokes

Darren Walsh

The annual list of the best jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival is in, with a one-liner from pun champion Darren Walsh winning the laughs and the groans this time around.

This year's award was decided by 2,000 members of the public, surveyed by TV channel Dave, and featured the youngest ever nominee – 12-year-old comedian Grace the Child, who came tenth with the joke: "They're always telling me to live my dreams. But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for."

So how does this year's crop stack up against the best jokes of festivals gone by? Below are the top three one-liners from 2015 alongside the best of the previous four years.

The best of 2015 from The Guardian

1. "I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free." – Darren Walsh

2.  "Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse … but enough about Kanye West." – Stewart Francis

3. "Surely every car is a people carrier?" – Adam Hess

The best of 2014, from The Guardian

1. "I've decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust." – Tim Vine

2. "I've written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn't fit it into my set." – Masai Graham

3. "Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief." – Mark Watson

The best of 2013, from the Daily Telegraph

1. "I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa." – Rob Auton

2. "I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying." – Alex Horne

3. "I'm in a same-sex marriage... the sex is always the same." – Alfie Moore

The best of 2012, from The Independent

1. "What do we want!? More research into a cure for ADHD! When do we want it!? Let's play swingball!" – Joe Lycett

2. "I've been keeping a count of the prostitutes I've been sleeping with. Tally ho." – Mark Smith

3. "I was very naive sexually. My first boyfriend asked me to do missionary and I buggered off to Africa for six months." – Hayley Ellis

The best of 2011, from the BBC

1. "I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves." – Nick Helm

2. "Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels." – Tim Vine

3. "People say 'I'm taking it one day at a time'. You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works." – Hannibal Buress

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