Axl Rose and his huge ego need a Supernanny

Guns N Roses concerts - starting on time or not - are as rare as three pound notes. But this week Axl Rose, the singer and only original surviving member of the heavy metal legends, has surpassed himself.

First there was a disastrous appearance at the Reading Festival for which he turned up an hour late and, after the power had been pulled, attempted rather pathetically to sing through a megaphone (it may have helped if he'd turned it on).

Then, a few days later in Dublin, he managed to arrive even later and was promptly greeted - during the magnificent 'Welcome To The Jungle', no less - with a volley of bottles from disgruntled fans: they could have waited until 'November Rain'.

Rather brilliantly the management at the Dublin venue appeared onstage after the band had sulked off and apologised for "technical difficulties" - the technical difficulty in question being Axl Rose's gargantuan ego.

Perhaps the real story is why are we so surprised by this behaviour? What do people expect? For a man who took 18 years to make an album (the overblown and predictably pompous Chinese Democracy) what's a couple of hours?

Guns N Roses have always arrived onstage late - even when they were a proper band rather than the sideshow that now masquerades under the name (Slash, Izzy Stradlin and Duff McKagan are long gone).

Rose's main error with both shows was that he didn't apologise. Increasingly we live in a consumer age and that even extends to rock n roll.

Once, fans may have tolerated this kind of arrogant behaviour - or rioted to keep themselves busy while they waited - but today we feel cheated or morally abused if things don't go to plan.

We're ready to start asking for our money back if our mobiles lose a network signal for ten minutes and we're already composing our emails to Watchdog if a movie we paid good money to see turns out to be shit. So a band turning up an hour late? It's frickin' unforgivable. All of which is very bad news for a rocker who, judging by his taste in jackets, is living under the illusion that it's still 1985.

So, how do you solve a problem like Axl? As a parent of young children, well versed in the techniques of persuasion and getting reluctant people to say 'sorry nicely', I think I have the solution - a sticker chart.

Seriously, I'd send in Supernanny, get Jo Frost to withdraw a treat (cocaine, hookers, headscarves) every time he's late. It could work. The man is obviously surrounded by people who can't stand up to him and tell him what a dick he is. Rumour has it that he sacked his road crew after Reading, then promptly re-employed them when it was pointed out that he wouldn't be able to continue touring without them. A bit of strict nannying could do the trick.

Alternatively he could invest in something that seems to work for lots of other people. A watch. ·