I Love You Beth Cooper

During his farewell speech at a graduation ceremony, an ungainly dweeb named Denis (Paul Rust) pronounces his undying love for Beth Cooper (Hayden Panettiere), the hottest, coolest cheerleader in school. Much to his amazement, she then turns up at his front door that night, and promises to show him the night of his life.

Empire: I Love You, Beth Cooper is a lifeless, joyless farrago; an unwelcome, pulsating zit on the face of the teen-movie genre… At one point there's a scene where somebody steps in cow dung, for God's sake. Six billion years of evolution, and it's come to this. It doesn't help, of course, that Alan Ruck, aka the legendary Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, plays Denis's dad, showing up every now and again like the Ghost Of Better Teen Movies Past. Or that it's a curiously chaste affair - a threesome happens off-screen, tampons are used to stop nosebleeds - that feels curiously unsure of itself, as if [director Chris] Columbus wants to take that extra step into slightly raunchier, Risky Business-style material, but just can’t bring himself to. (Verdict: two stars out of five)

Anna Smith, Time Out: There's the potential for Superbad-style comedy when Denis and his pal go on the run with Beth and friends, but the pace is slow and lines fall flat thanks to long pauses and hammy delivery. As Beth, Heroes star Panettiere shows little big-screen promise, although she is one of the more watchable actors in this low-budget misfire. It's not the worst of its kind, but there's nothing chic about this geek. (Verdict: two stars out of five)

Toby Young, The Times: I Love You, Beth Cooper just about sustains your interest over its 102-minute running time largely because it sticks so closely to a tried-and-tested formula. The veteran director Christopher Columbus provides a reliable hand at the tiller and you care about the fate of Panettiere's character, even if you don't particularly want her to end up with the class nerd. The real problem is that it doesn't have any heart. (Verdict: three stars out of five) ·