Who they? D-listers return to ‘celebrity’ Big Brother house

CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER began a new series on Channel 5 last night and the cooked-up tantrums, feuds and tears will doubtless keep the tabloids occupied for the coming three weeks

As for the calibre of the ‘celebrities’, we’ve reached the point - after a decade of the show - where the housemate best-known internationally is famous for taking part in a (different) reality TV show.

With an average age of nearly 40, the 13 housemates are significantly longer in the tooth than their target audience – and few of them will be known to the viewers.

Here’s a guide to who on earth they are:

Martin Kemp, 50. Has enjoyed two careers – first as bassist in Spandau Ballet, alongside his brother Gary, then as Steve Owen in EastEnders. Odds-on favourite today to win the series, with Paddy Power giving him 2/1, reports Digital Spy.

Julie Goodyear, 70. Bet Lynch from Coronation Street. Married her fourth husband, Scott Brand, who had previously stalked her, five years ago, says the Daily Mail.

Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino, 30. Famous for being famous, Mike starred in the MTV reality show Jersey Shore, which inspired our own Geordie Shore and TOWIE. Tends to show off his six-pack.

Samantha Brick, 40. Rose to fame as a hate figure when internet trolls attacked the Daily Mail article she wrote about how hard it was to be pretty. She is said to be a last-minute replacement for equally self-promoting Mail colleague Liz Jones.

MC Harvey, 33. One of the less celebrated members of multitudinous rap collective So Solid Crew, he hit the tabloids when he married Alesha Dixon of Mis-teeq and then cheated on her. They divorced.

Ashley McKenzie, 23. Easily the most wholesome housemate, McKenzie represented the UK in judo at the London Olympics. He didn't win a medal.

Julian Clary, 53. The King of Camp, infamous in the 1990s for an ad lib on live TV about fisting Norman Lamont, Clary is on the publicity trail for his latest stand-up tour.

Prince Lorenzo Borghese, 40. A real prince – but an Italian one, and there are quite a few – he is a US-raised cosmetics entrepreneur with a sideline in animal activism who became a household name in the US by appearing on a reality TV series.

Coleen Nolan, 47. One of the Nolan sisters, famous for the 1980 hit I'm in the Mood for Dancing, she went on to present Loose Women, but left that show 12 months ago.

And the rest... Cheryl Fergison (ex-EastEnders actress), Jasmine Lennard (reality TV star), Rhian Sugden and Danic Thrall (glamour models) make up the rest of the D-list celebs locked up together for the next three weeks. ·