James Bond 'at high risk of sexual dysfunction and disease'

The secret agent downed 1,150 units of alcohol in 88 days, say doctors who analysed Fleming books

LAST UPDATED AT 11:23 ON Fri 13 Dec 2013

JAMES BOND’S penchant for vodka martinis puts him at high risk of impotence, liver disease and death by drink driving, doctors have said.

Two medics from Derby and Nottingham have analysed the 14 Ian Fleming novels in their spare time and found that the secret agent polishes off the equivalent of one and a half bottles of wine every day.

Excluding the 36 days he was in prison, hospital or rehab, the spy downed 1,150 units of alcohol in 88 days, four times the recommended maximum intake for men in the UK.

On his biggest benders, Bond had 50 units in a single day during From Russia With Love and 132 units in a week in You Only Live Twice – although researchers suggest this might have been a response to the death of his wife a year earlier.

The doctors’ report, which features in a Christmas edition of the British Medical Journal, concluded: “Although we appreciate the societal pressures to consume alcohol when working with international terrorists and high stakes gamblers, we would advise Bond to be referred for further assessment of his alcohol intake.”

They added that Bond’s famous catchphrase “shaken, not stirred” could be because of an alcohol-induced tremor affecting his hands.

Patrick Davies, a consultant in paediatric intensive care at Nottingham University Hospitals, told the BBC: “You wouldn't want this person defusing a nuclear bomb.

“He's a very glamorous person, he gets all the girls and that's totally incompatible with the lifestyle of an alcoholic, which he is.”

He said Bond would be classified in the “top whack” of problem drinkers and would be at high risk of liver damage, an early death and impotence.

The level of functioning displayed in the books is inconsistent with the physical, mental and sexual functioning expected from someone drinking this much alcohol, the doctors said. · 

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what a load of tot.

Fleming was the master of product placement. His books introduced many of our favourite brands and styles. Including vodka.

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