Cricket ‘rigged’, Ramsay ****ed, Konnie hooked

These brief reports are culled from this morning's Sunday broadsheet and tabloid papers. During the silly season - now in full spate - some reports should be taken with a pinch of salt. No complaints please if they're proved to be nonsense by Monday morning.

TEST CRICKET HIT BY MATCH-FIXING SCANDALEvery once in a while, the News of the World has a scoop that does not concern X Factor judges or footballers' wives - and which the rest of Fleet Street would die for. The tabloid appears to have caught members of the Pakistani cricket team cheating. Undercover reporters posing as members of a gambling cartel paid a middleman, Mazhar Majeed, £150,000 in cash to fix the current Test at Lord's. Majeed told them exactly when three no-balls would be bowled on Thursday and Friday - and they were. Majeed has been arrested on suspicion of conspiring to defraud bookmakers.

BLAIR AND BUSH PLOTTED AGAINST BROWNThe reason why Tony Blair kept hanging on to power, apparently breaking countless promises to let Gordon Brown take over, has been revealed by the Sunday Telegraph: according to Whitehall sources, the Bush administration made it clear to Blair they had "grave doubts" about Brown's suitability after he had once harangued Condoleezza Rice about US policy on aid, development and Africa.

KONNIE AND CHARLIE TIE THE KNOTFormer Blue Peter presenter Konnie Huq and her fiance Charlie Brooker, the Guardian TV critic, have married in Las Vegas, according to the Daily Mail. Huq has explained her unlikely love affair with acid-tongued Brooker like this: "I've got more of a an evil sense of humour than people realise". It is not reported whether the newlyweds witnessed the arrest in Vegas of Paris Hilton for possession of cocaine.

'NO CHANCE OF TAX CUTS' FOR FIVE YEARSThere will be no relief from current rates of taxation for at least five
years, according to Danny Alexander, the Lib Dem Cabinet minister in charge of cutting Britain's record £155bn national deficit. His blunt forecast, given to the Observer, will alarm Tory MPs who were hoping savage public spending cuts would allow for some tax reductions before the next general election.

ANOTHER FOOTBALLer WINS SUPER-INJUNCTIONA third England footballer has been granted a gagging order to prevent a tabloid paper disclosing secrets of his personal life. According to the Sunday Telegraph, the order was granted by Mr Justice Parker. As with the other two existing orders, the footballer's name cannot be revealed.

FRONTLINE DOGS GET BODY ARMOURThe Navy Seals - the elite US force operating in Afghanistan who are the equivalent of Britain's Special Boat Service - have ordered $20,000 bullet-proof body vests for four dogs. The body armour, which comes complete with built-in radio and infrared night vision, is made by the Canadian company K9 Storm, according to the Sunday Times.

ANOTHER KITCHEN NIGHTMARE FOR RAMSAYTV chef Gordon Ramsay is putting another London pub restaurant up for sale as the recession continues to lay waste to his empire. The Warrington in north-west London, which he has run since 2006, follows The Devonshire in Chiswick onto the market, according to the Independent on Sunday.
FELIX DENNIS DEAd SET ON GREEN GRAVEYARDThe publisher Felix Dennis, whose titles include The First Post, is seeking planning permission to create a 'green' burial ground in Warwickshire, big enough to take 50,000 bodies. Traditional headstones would be replaced by trees and shrubs, the Sunday Times reports, and the nutrients from the dead bodies might one day be used to help grow trees in another project, the Forest of Dennis.

CAPE BABOONS ON THE RAMPAGEBaboons are making life in the swanky Cape Town suburb of Constantia a nightmare. They are stripping vineyards of their grapes - sauvignon blanc are a favourite - and devouring chickens, geese and even a great dane. "Lunch parties in the garden are now impossible," one home owner told the Sunday Telegraph.

USAIN BOLT 'COULD JOIN MAN UTD'The fastest man in the world, Usain Bolt, would want to play for Manchester United if he took up football. Bolt, who set the all-time record of 9.58 secs over 100 metres last year, has trained with Man Utd and Bayern Munich in the past but had not raised the possibility of turning pro until writing his autobiography, 9.58, according to the Sunday Times. He will doubtless be inspired by Arsenal's Theo Walcott, considered one of the fastest sprinters in the Premier League, who has finally starting scoring goals. ·