Norman Tebbit apologises for kicking Chinese dragon

While Gordon Brown continues to claim that he has never hit anyone in his life, Norman Tebbit, the Tory grandee once labelled a "semi-house-trained polecat" by Michael Foot, has admitted "shoving" a child dressed as a Chinese dragon. However, some witnesses claim the "shove" was actually a repeated kicking.
 
Whether it was a shove or a kick, the big question is who started it: the dragon or the peer? And the answer depends on who you listen to. The press are divided, with the Daily Telegraph headlining its report 'Norman Tebbit jostled by Chinese dragon' while the Daily Mail seems to come down on the other side of the fence with 'Norman Tebbit attacks child in dragon outfit celebrating Chinese New Year'.
 
Here then is Lord Tebbit's side of the story. Sitting in his new home in Bury St Edmunds - he has only lived in the area for a few months - the peer heard "a dreadful noise". He went outside and found the street blocked. "I did not realise it was Chinese New Year," he explained.
 
Presumably unaware that the dragon before him represented imperial authority, supernatural power, goodness, fertility, vigilance and dignity, Tebbit put his "hands on the Chinese drum to try and stop the noise".
 
"I got my knuckles wrapped for my pains. I then got jostled by a dragon. I have never been jostled by a dragon before. I gave it a shove, then got on my way."

However, the organiser of the celebration, local restaurateur and Tory councillor Patrick Chung, tells a slightly different version: "He did kick the dragon. There was a child inside the dragon costume and he was kicking the dragon's bottom.

"He ran after the dragon and kicked it. The child was upset. He did not know what was happening. Someone was kicking his bottom."

Chung, who has celebrated Chinese new year outside his restaurant this way for 20 years, says he spoke to Lord Tebbit. "I said his actions were upsetting. He apologised. He only then understood what he had done."

Perhaps most surprising of all is the comparative good grace with which Tebbit has handled the fracas. He confirmed he had apologised to Chung, and said he "forgave" him. With a flash of his typical ambivalent humour, and a dose of self-awareness, he added: "As a new resident, we immigrants should adopt the customs of the community we go into. It is up to us to co-operate with the prevailing culture." ·