Alastair Campbell and the girl from the ES diary

If the first reviews of his new novel Maya aren't exactly glowing - "you can't believe a word of it," says Anthony Horowitz in the Daily Telegraph - at least Alastair Campbell has written a very witty account of the book's "virtual launch party" on his blog today.

Campbell says he isn't "a launch party kind of person" so neither he nor his publishers, Hutchinson, organised a bash for today's launch of Maya, which tells the story of an ordinary Joe called Steve Watkins, whose schoolfriend Maya grows up to become a Hollywood idol.

Besieged by queries from newspapers as to where the launch party was, and why their reporter hadn't been invited, Campbell came up with the idea of a virtual launch.

It is packed with the London types who people these actual events - 'Cindy' from the Times Diary, a prurient Telegraph reporter, and publisher 'Gail', who whispers in Campbell's ear: "Treat it like the dentist. It'll soon be over and it won't hurt when you're home."

'Gail' is Gail Rebuck, who as chairman and chief executive of Random House UK, owners of Hutchinson among many other imprints, is arguably the most powerful publishing executive in Britain. If anyone else referred to Rebuck as "my publisher" it would be the equivalent of this correspondent calling Steve Jobs "my computer man". But to be fair to Campbell, he is good friends with Rebuck and her husband Philip Gould, Tony Blair's former adviser and pollster.

Campbell closes his account of the virtual party with this exchange:

'Hiiiiiii,' says pretty twentysomething in skimpy black cocktail dress.
'Feel a bit overdressed, but going onto another doooo later.'

'Which diary do you work for?' I ask, pulling back slightly to avoid having to mwah mwah complete stranger.

'How did you gueeeeess?' she asks. 'Wow, that is amazing.'

'Kind of instinct. Trained observer you know ... comes with writing novels I guess.' Do my James Bond eyebrow raise.

'Go on then, which paper, bet you can't guess that?'

'Standard I'd say.'

'OMG that is unbelievable' ... giggle ... flirtatious eye contact ... 'so tell me about Maya? Who is she, that's what I reeeeally want to know?'

At which point The First Post's virtual reporter, feeling like a spare prick, made his excuses and left.

Alastair Campbell's virtual party in full ·