Tim Vine wins funniest joke of year with 'Conjunctivitis.com'

Feb 9, 2012

King of the one-liners beats off competition from Jimmy Carr and Paul Daniels

A ONE-LINER by comedian Tim Vine has been named the funniest joke of the year at the Loaded Laftas comedy awards. Vine's joke, "Conjunctivitis.com - that's a site for sore eyes", beat competition from Jimmy Carr, Sarah Millican and Paul Daniels.

Elsewhere Jon Richardson, a radio presenter and comedian perhaps best known for his appearances on the TV panel show 8 Out of 10 Cats, was named funniest man while actress and comedian Andi Osho won the funniest woman award. Jack Whitehall's student sitcom Fresh Meat was named funniest TV show.

Vine (above), the brother of Radio 2 presenter Jeremy, can now stake a claim to being the king of the one-liners. In 2010, he won the award for the funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe with the line: "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."

And last year, his joke, "Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels", was named second funniest at the Fringe.

Whether Vine had much competition at this year's Laftas is open to debate.

Here are the jokes he beat:

Jimmy Carr: "I know a couple who get on like a house on fire. They both feel trapped and are slowly suffocating to death."

Sarah Millican: "My mother told me, you don't have to put anything in your mouth you don't want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards."

Matt Kirshen: "I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess."

Paul Daniels: "I said to a fella 'Is there a B&Q in Henley?' He said 'No, there's an H, an E, an N an L and a Y'."

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So those "jokes" were supposed to be funny, what has happened to comedy
What's happened to your sense of humour more like !
its the way you tell 'em
Seriously?  That's all it takes to win a one-liner of the year award?  Meh.