'You're too skinny,' David Walliams tells Kate Middleton

It must be true - it's in the Sunday papers: from Kate's swimming ambition to Marco Pierre White's 'Downton hotel'

LAST UPDATED AT 11:19 ON Sun 4 Mar 2012

DAVID WALLIAMS told Kate Middleton she was “too skinny” to swim the Thames, the Sunday Mirror reports. Walliams, who swam the entire length of the river last year despite a severe bout of diarrhoea, said the Duchess of Cambridge had told him she would love to swim the Thames. “I said, ‘You couldn’t do it, you are too skinny... you need a layer of fat for that sort of thing’. “She is absolutely stunning, totally gorgeous, but not at all the build for cold-water swimming.”...

MARCO PIERRE WHITE has applied to register the Downton Abbey Hotel as a trademark so that he can rename the pub he owns near Highclere Castle, where the blockbuster ITV costume drama is filmed, The Sunday Telegraph claims. A spokesman for White denied the story, saying: “I’ve spoken with Marco and he doesn’t know what you’re talking about… I hardly think Marco Pierre White needs to cash in on Downton Abbey.”...

TWO MEN who were sprayed with CS gas and zapped with Tasers on a stag night have had their conviction for assaulting a police officer overturned. The pair had made the groom-to-be dress up in a penis costume before covering him in treacle and feathers, The Sun on Sunday exclusively reports. When a taxi driver refused to take the trio home because of the treacle on the obscene outfit, they appealed to a police officer, but he got the wrong end of the stick and radioed for back-up...

CAPTAIN Francesco Schettino was not wearing his glasses when the Costa Concordia crashed into rocks off the Italian coast, The Mail on Sunday reports. In leaked prosecution evidence, First Officer Ciro Ambrosio says: “Schettino wears glasses when he is tired. When he took command on the bridge he didn’t have them because he had left them in his cabin. He asked me to set the radar as he couldn’t see it properly.” Ambrosio adds that Schettino told officers not to tell the harbourmaster what had happened...

OLLI REHN, the European commissioner in charge of handling the eurozone debt crisis, has been accused of sexism for briefing male journalists while naked in a sauna beneath his office in Brussels. The Sunday Times reports that at a press conference last week, the Finn was asked whether there was a “dress code” for such press briefings and whether he would inform female journalists about his policies. Rehn was previously the Commissioner for Enlargement...

BILL ODDIE, who supposedly stepped down as a presenter of the BBC’s Springwatch in 2008 due to depression has revealed that the real reason was because of complaints made to the broadcaster following an “incident” during filming on Brownsea Island in Dorset, The Sunday Telegraph reports. He says he still doesn’t know whether the complaint was from a member of public or the film crew. When he phoned his producer Oddie said: “It’s as if you’ve been told not to talk to me”. She replied: “We have.” · 

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