Simon Cowell says sorry for sex life revelations

Red top tales: X-Factor man's mea culpa, Alex Reid's PM ambitions, hamster's kung-fu moves

LAST UPDATED AT 11:50 ON Thu 26 Apr 2012

AFTER a week and a half of revelations about the ins and outs of Simon Cowell's sex life, the X-Factor mogul has finally said sorry. "I wish to publicly apologise to anyone I embarrassed," he said at the launch of Tom Bower's controversial biography. "Ten years ago if I had read someone would be writing a book about me saying I made loads of money and shagged loads of girls I would have said, 'Great!'" But not now, according to The Sun. Cowell admitted spending the last week "hiding under a pillow"… though he also revealed he was friends with the book's author.

JORDAN'S EX WANTS TO BE AN MP
He may be best known for marrying former topless model Jordan and dressing like a girl, but Alex Reid has loftier ambitions - he wants to be an MP. "It would be lovely to be an MP," said the cage fighter, who is currently touring with a stage show about male strippers. "I believe I can use my power as a celebrity to influence young people to help them be the people they want to be." The Sun reports that Reid believes he can bridge the gap between politics and the people by entering the Commons. But why stop there? The Celebrity Big Brother star said he'd love to be PM, but only "if the people wanted me to".

A THIRD OF BRITS SHOPLIFT AT SELF-CHECKOUTS
The Daily Mail reports that one in three people have admitted to stealing from supermarkets when using self-service checkouts, according to a new survey of 4,952 shoppers. Common ways of cheating the machines include bagging goods without scanning them, walking off without paying and tampering with the weighing scales. Half of those who owned up to the crime said they selected the cheapest product (often a white onion) when scanning loose items. An expert told the paper that confidence in not getting caught, rather than poverty, was the key motivation.

KUNG-FU HAMSTER ATTACKS DOG
A Slovakian hamster has been caught on camera using his mastery of Chinese martial arts to rebuff the advances of a curious dog, according to the Daily Mirror. The paper describes how the "pint-sized ninja" deployed a "series of spinning kicks and leaps" in an unprovoked attack on two Hungarian pointer dogs. Marta Domotorova, owner of the victims, said her dogs were "pretty scared when the guinea pig started its kung-fu chops". The Mirror reports that locals in the Slovakian town of Hradok are now "living in fear of Kung Fu Hamster".

TINY 'SUPERSHED' ON SALE FOR £260,000
For the price of just ten average salaries, a property no bigger than a standard garage could be yours, the Daily Mail reports. Dubbed "London's most expensive shed", the property is located in the upmarket Highgate area and is on the market for £259,950, despite being just 250 square feet. Salesman Mark Newton called the space an "old barn" and said it had a "niche market". On the plus side, the owner will be living round the corner from Kate Moss and Jude Law. On the down side, an issue with the lease means whoever forks out £260K can only sleep there a couple of nights a week. · 

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