Queen won't wear perfume in case it 'excites' her horses

May 30, 2012

Red top tales: Her Majesty the horse whisperer, Jordan's dig at 'tranny' Alex Reid's fake baby bump

THE QUEEN has been taking tips from American horse whisperer Monty Roberts to ensure her horses are splendidly behaved. The legendary Roberts reduced the late queen mother to tears in 1989 when he managed to tame one of her wildest horses. According to BBC sports presenter Clare Balding, quoted in the Daily Express, Her Majesty uses techniques such as making foals walk across a blue plastic sheet so they are not afraid of walking through water. Balding also revealed that the Queen "never wears perfume when she visits the yard to see her horses as it can excite testosterone-fuelled young colts".

Katie Price, aka Jordan, took a pop at her estranged husband Alex Reid after the cage-fighting cross-dresser donned a fake pregnancy bump for a photo shoot. Reid and his heavily pregnant girlfriend Chantelle Houghton appear to have been having relationship problems of late. Houghton was photographed a few weeks ago struggling to carry several shopping bags while Reid was on tour with his strip show Wildboyz. In a bizarre PR stunt, Reid has mimicked the pictures wearing a fake baby bump. Price explained to the Daily Mirror yesterday that it "just goes to show the man's desperate for money and will do anything". Despite her resentment, Price and Reid are still technically married, or as she delicately puts it: "I'm not even divorced from the tranny yet."

One Direction heartthrob Louis Tomlinson was woken in his hotel room at 5am to find a naked man trying to get in. The 20-year-old, on tour in America with his teenybopper band mates, peered through the door's spy-hole to see a small naked man in the corridor. The boy-band's supporters have a reputation for stalking but this time it wasn't a love-crazed fan. A friend told The Sun: “This bloke wasn't even a hotel guest, but a drunk who was looking for a toilet.”

Police in Ohio are on the hunt for a bank robber dressed as Darth Vader who escaped with his loot on a BMX. The man, thought to be in his early to mid 20s, stormed the Huntington Bank in Toledo brandishing a semi-automatic pistol last week. The 6ft tall robber, who wore a black hooded sweatshirt and Darth Vader mask, had obviously "gone to the Dark Side" reported ABC news but, according to the Daily Mirror: "He is not thought to have been carrying a light sabre at the time."
Cows across the world are being treated to massages, classical music and $70,000 waterbeds, reports the Daily Mail. A Wisconsin veterinarian Sara Gilbertson has been trying out a new chiropractic therapy which farmers say has helped their cows to produce more milk. An Ohio farmer, who installed $70,000 waterbeds for his cows, says: "They were real sceptical at first because it was real jiggly but once they adapted they didn't look back." But one dairy expert warned: "Cows just don't like a lot of weird things happening to them."

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