Fifty Shades of Grey 'diet plan' could save UK's fattest teen

BRITAIN'S fattest teenager, Georgia Davis, has apparently found a "new weapon in her bid to lose weight" – the raunchy novel Fifty Shades Of Grey. The Sun reports that Davis started reading the book by EL James in hospital after hearing nurses talking about it and she is "so gripped by the saucy bestseller, it is distracting her while she slims from a reputed 56 stone". Davis had to be cut out of her house in Aberdare, South Wales, by firemen and engineers in May because she was too big to fit through her door to seek medical help. She has been told she must stay in nearby Prince Charles Hospital in Merthyr Tydfil until Christmas - which will give her plenty of time to read the rest of the Fifty Shades trilogy.

AGYNESS DEYN 'COAXED INTO SCIENTOLOGY'
British supermodel Agyness Deyn could be coaxed into Scientology by her new husband, claims Grazia. Deyn surprised everybody last month by marrying Friends actor and Scientologist Giovanni Ribisi after just two months of dating. Speculation that Deyn is considering converting to Scientology has grown since Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise's divorce put the controversial religion in the headlines. "While Giovanni doesn't go around trying to randomly convert people, Scientology is a huge part of his life," a source told the magazine. "It's unlikely, especially given the religion's views on inter-faith marriage, that he'd have married Aggy if she wasn't considering converting." Deyn's agent has so far refused to comment.

STEPHEN HAWKING'S TIME-TRAVEL PARTY FLOP
Eminent physicist Stephen Hawking has revealed that he once held a party for time-travellers... but nobody turned up. This might be down to the fact that the professor did not send out the invitations until after the event. "I sat there a long time," he explains, "but no one came." Hawking offers his attempt to meet people from the future as "experimental evidence that time travel is not possible". As the Daily Mail reports, it is probably for the best that nobody did show up as Hawking says it is likely that warping space and time could "trigger a bolt of radiation that would destroy the spaceship and maybe the space-time itself".

DOPEY ROBBER STUMPED BY 'PULL' DOOR SIGN
A robber failed to make a sharp getaway after raiding a newsagent's because he was unable to work out how to open the shop door. James Allan, 28, wore a balaclava while holding up a newsagent's in Abingdon, Oxon, with a toy gun. He was then caught on CCTV struggling to push the door open despite a sign clearly saying 'PULL'. His face was caught on camera as he tore off the balaclava to decipher how to get out. Shop manager Angela Croke had to let him out and he fled with £134. But he was caught by police three hours later in the same street. He admitted robbery and possessing an imitation firearm and was jailed for three years at Oxford Crown Court, says The Sun.

MERMAIDS DON'T EXIST, STATES US AGENCY
The US National Ocean Service was forced to deny that mermaids exist after viewers of a fictional TV show wrote to the agency asking about the creatures. Mermaids: The Body Found, broadcast in May on the Discovery Channel's Animal Planet network, was a work of fiction but at least two people wrote to the Ocean Service after mistaking it for a real documentary, reports the Daily Mirror. An article posted on the National Ocean Service's educational website said the "half-human, half-fish sirens of the sea" are "legendary sea creatures chronicled in maritime cultures since time immemorial" but confirmed that "no evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found". ·