Brown sauce punishment for reading Fifty Shades of Grey

Red top tales: 'Mummy porn' triggers assault; Channing Tatum snubs red-carpet celebs

LAST UPDATED AT 11:49 ON Wed 11 Jul 2012

AN ANGRY man covered his girlfriend in HP Sauce after he caught her reading the erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey. Raymond Hodgson, 31, stormed out of his house after discovering his partner of five years, Emma McCormick, reading what he deemed "porn". He returned with a bottle of HP and squirted her from head to toe, coating her face and eyes, before splattering the walls, reports The Sun. He admitted common assault before a court in Carlisle, Cumbria this week and was made to wear a tag, pay McCormick £100 and complete a six-month community order. Hodgson, who has since split up with his girlfriend, was remorseful but told The Sun: "I did what I did to show her what saucy really means."

CHANNING TATUM SNUBS UK'S Z-LISTERS
Reality TV and soap stars turned out for the premiere of male stripper flick Magic Mike at London's May Fair Hotel last night. But the film's Hollywood lead, Channing Tatum, failed to recognise a single face. As guests such as Peter Andre, former Liberty X singer Michelle Heaton and cast members from The Only Way is Essex, posed on the red carpet, the Daily Mirror asked Tatum: "Are you super excited to meet all of our high-class British celebrities here tonight?" To which he replied: "Yeh, yeh totally. Where are they? I haven't seen any of them yet."
 
FRENCH COWS REARED ON FINE WINE
Cows in the south of France are supping on two bottles of high-quality wine each day as farmers compete to produce the best beef in Europe. Three cows in Lunel-Viel, in the southern Herault region, were fed local wine for four months, which apparently resulted in "happy cows" who produced exceptionally succulent meat. Now more farmers are taking an interest in the new diet. A 'Vinbovin' label of beef has been established and is already being championed in some of the top restaurants in Paris, reports The Daily Mail. The wine has, however, tripled the cost of the cow's feed – resulting in an £80 increase to the cost of a prime beef cut.

WOMAN ACCUSED OF SWALLOWING $4,000 RING
A woman in Utah has been accused of stealing a $4,000 diamond ring by swallowing it in a department store. Angela Winters Hardman stopped at a Macy's outside Salt Lake City in May to try on some jewellery. A saleswoman claims she tried on an engagement ring and then handed back a noticeably different ring. According to police, the 38-year-old later admitted to swallowing the ring and pawning it days later for $600 once it had passed through her system. Hardman is charged with felony retail theft and is awaiting trial, reports ABC News. · 

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