Dr Who to battle dinosaurs on a spaceship in new series

Red top tales: Dinosaurs and cowboys in store for the Doctor; Zayn Malik's mum has '1D shrine'

LAST UPDATED AT 11:40 ON Mon 16 Jul 2012

FORGET snakes on a plane, Doctor Who will battle dinosaurs on a spaceship. Steven Moffat, the show's executive producer, has revealed that the Doctor will come face to face with "some of the most monstrous creatures evolution has ever produced, on some of the most monstrous sets we have ever built". The inventively named Dinosaurs on a Spaceship will be the second episode of the seventh series, which begins in the autumn on BBC. Doctor Who, played by Matt Smith, will also find himself in a Wild West adventure during the new series, according to The Sun.

ZAYN MALIK'S MUM SETS UP '1D SHRINE'
The mother of One Direction star Zayn Malik is taking maternal pride to the next level, claims the Daily Star. Patricia Malik has turned her Bradford house into a One Direction shrine including objects covered in her 19-year-old son's face. A source told the newspaper: "Zayn's mum has an enormous clock with his face as the background on their mantelpiece. He's a hero in that house and there are Zayn tea towels and pictures of him all over the place." Mrs Malik has previously admitted to crying at her gate every time her son leaves and regularly travelling to his house in London to do his washing.

FIFTY SHADES OF CHAV IS INTERNET SENSATION
A mother-of-five has written an X-rated blog called Fifty Shades of Chav, based around her Tyneside home. Mel Dutton's version of the popular Fifty Shades of Grey stars 'chav Barry' and is causing an internet sensation, reports the Daily Mail. A Facebook group called 'Petition to get Mel Dutton's 50 Shades of Chav Printed' now has 1,120 members. The 36-year-old says the inspiration for her blog comes from the people she knows. She uploads short chapters on Facebook and extracts on Twitter. Less graphic excerpts include: "I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind Farmfoods" and "His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange."

BRUSSELS CHIEFS IN CORRIDOR NAMING FARCE
How many Brussels Eurocrats do you need to name a corridor, asks The Sun. Apparently it takes 76 and they still can't manage to do it. In a scene likened to something out of Yes, Prime Minister, EU chiefs failed to agree on the name of a corridor during a top-level strategy meeting. In between dealing with the small matter of the economic meltdown, a request was made to name a corridor in the Altiero Spinelli building 'The Baltic Way', after a peaceful 1989 mass protest against Soviet rule. But a final decision could not be made and the issue was passed to a committee, which will report back at a later date.

WEATHER FORECASTERS FACE FINES
Weather forecasters who make incorrect predictions could face fines if Labour councillors in a Netherlands town get their way. The councillors in Hook of Holland have called for the fines, claiming that 'bad' forecasts are spoiling the local seaside trade. Day-trippers have apparently been cancelling their plans due to incorrect poor weather prospects. Joep Thonissen, head of Recron, the Dutch tourist attraction association, told Dutch News: "Last week it was really good weather over most of the country but the weather forecasts were full of heavy rain and thunderstorms, so people stayed home." · 

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