Nazis plotted to kill Churchill with chocolate-coated bomb

Red top tales: British agents foiled sticky plan; ‘Del Boy’ Jordan to tout crystal-encrusted Zimmer frames

LAST UPDATED AT 12:07 ON Wed 18 Jul 2012

NAZIS plotted to assassinate Sir Winston Churchill with exploding chocolate, according to the Daily Mail. Hitler's bomb-makers apparently coated explosive devices in a thin layer of rich dark chocolate and packaged them in expensive looking black and gold paper. The Nazis planned to put the Peter's Chocolate bars in the War Cabinet dining room but the plot was foiled by British agents. MI5's Lord Victor Rothschild commissioned posters warning of explosive-packed sweet treats. Secret wartime papers exchanged between MI5 officials revealed the plan that involved enough explosives to kill anyone within several metres.

GEORGE MICHAEL WOKE UP FROM COMA WITH WEST COUNTRY ACCENT
George Michael woke up from his three-week coma with a West Country accent, according to The Sun. The singer, who comes from north London, fell critically ill with pneumonia while on tour in Vienna last November. When he finally came round in hospital, he apparently told doctors "Oi'm the King of the Worrrld!" with a Bristolian brogue. He claims medics were worried that he had a condition where people wake up from a coma speaking another language. Michael admitted he had been watching the BBC sitcom Nighty Night, starring Somerset-born actress Julia Davis, before he had fallen unconscious. "They were worried I could have spoken like that for the rest of my life," he said.

MARILYN MANSON WANTS CURSING BABY
Goth rocker Marilyn Manson has decided that he wants to have children, reports the New York Daily News. Manson, whose songs include Sh**ty Chicken Gang BangSlutgarden and May Cause Discoloration of the Urine or Faeces, has been inspired to start his own family after his girlfriend's sister gave birth. "I've started to think that maybe I wouldn't mind passing my demented genius on to some small thing who can set fire and breathe profanity," he said. Manson also believes he has no health problems because drugs and alcohol have "made germs afraid to live" in his body.

'DEL BOY' JORDAN TO SELL SPARKLY ZIMMERS
Katie Price, also known as Jordan, has plans to tout pink mobility scooters and crystal-encrusted Zimmer frames when she gets old. Price says she is proud of her £45m business empire and has no plans to stop raking in the cash. The glamour-model-turned-business-woman tells The Sun her first taste of business success was when she recorded songs off the radio as a child and sold the tapes for £1. She also forged her mother's signature in a cheque book to pay for a rabbit that she wanted when she was nine. She tells The Sun: "I'm a proper Del Boy, me." · 

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