Charlie Sheen: 'the iPad makes a good weapon'

Tabloid tales: Sheen throws iPad, man caught with monkey in pants, hotel gets ferret request

LAST UPDATED AT 12:15 ON Tue 11 Sep 2012

CHARLIE SHEEN has revealed the iPad can be used effectively "as a weapon", after throwing it and discovering "how aerodynamic it was". The ex-Two and a Half Men star told the Metro he gets "mad" at Apple products because they have left us "in a little prison". So last week the actor flung his iPad at the wall, where it got stuck. Sheen, who is now starring in the aptly named Anger Management, said: "The fact you can't share music between devices and have to go through this central hub makes me very angry."

SMUGGLERS CAUGHT WITH MONKEYS IN THEIR PANTS
Three men have been arrested in Bangkok after they were discovered smuggling primates in their underwear. Customs officials became suspicious of the trio after spotting a large bulge in one man's trousers at Delhi airport, reports the New York Daily News. Two of the men were found to have rare slender lorises concealed in their pants. The men quickly confessed they had left another monkey in an airport bin after they were unable to carry him. The lorises, around seven inches in length and weighing 150g, are all being cared for by an animal welfare organisation.

HOTEL GUEST REQUESTS FERRET
A request for a ferret has made it onto a list of bizarre demands to hotel room service. According to the Metro, the ferret request was made by a guest who was due to visit a small animals show and did not want to go alone. Other wacky demands, recorded by workers at UK Best Western hotels, included a man's request for a ghost to be sent to his room and one guest who insisted on 'a room with a sea view' after checking in at a Birmingham hotel.

ANGRY NEIGHBOUR REVIEWS 'TERRIBLE' KARAOKE
An angry resident of Hackney in London was so annoyed by his neighbours' raucous late-night karaoke that he posted a detailed critique of their performances in the communal area of their block of flats. According to the Daily Mail, the 3.14am rendition of Aerosmith and Run DMC's Walk This Way received only one out of ten and was described as the evening's "lowest point". An Elton John performance achieved a high score of seven, as "if you're going to be woken up after only two hours' sleep it might as well be to a herd of morons screaming Tiny Dancer". The review was succinctly finished with: "I hate you". · 

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Charlie Sheen's tips on how to use iPad. Excellent advice rarely seen elsewhere.

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