Is Megan Fox profile the worst thing ever written?

Jan 17, 2013
Richard A Jinman

Esquire's profile of Hollywood actress sets new benchmark for awful celebrity interviews, say critics

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MEGAN FOX is not the biggest name in Hollywood, but an article about the actress published in Esquire has sent her profile rocketing after being labelled 'The Worst Thing Ever Written'.

Stephen Marche's interview with the Transformers actress takes place "deep" in Fox’s LA house where the pair warm up by discussing an Aztec ritual involving "human sacrifice".

Marche, it transpires, is framing Fox as a kind of sacrifice on the altar of celebrity, but Vice Magazine’s Jamie Lee Curtis Taete says the "weird" metaphor "doesn’t make any sense" and is one of five reasons the piece is the "worst thing ever written".

Taete also takes issue with the author's fascination with Fox's beauty, in particular his observation that "the symmetry of her face, up close, is genuinely shocking". Elsewhere, Marche compares the colour of Fox's skin to the colour of the moon “in the thin air of northern winters”.
As the interview progresses we learn that Fox believes in "aliens and leprechauns" and has "an obsession with the Book of Revelations". But Marche returns to her beauty, pointing out that it far outshines "plain" women like the singers Adele and Lady Gaga and Girls actress Lena Dunham.

Gawker calls the profile "terrible" and says the "main takeaway" message after 2,400 words is that Fox is "pretty". It ends, as it began, "suffocating under the weight of a giant honking metaphor", this one involving Noah and his ark.

Some commentators have speculated that Marche's piece might be a parody of a celebrity interview, but the author has remained largely silent on the issue. He has tweeted just once on the online furore ignited by the piece, saying: "It's not every day you get challenged to a duel over a celebrity profile you've written".

Victoria Wright was so transfixed by the profile she has written a parody of Marche's piece in The Independent. In the parody, Fox’s eyes are "all glassy in contemplation", a sight which moves Wright to exclaim, "My God she's beautiful!"

There's no word yet about what Fox thinks of the article.

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Is Megan Fox profile the worst thing ever written? Mein Kampf, the Communist Manifesto and The Thoughts of Chairman Mao come to mind...

They didn't mean literally. They're just stating how ridiculous it is. Jesus...