Bernie Ecclestone won’t give up his wet dream

On the eve of the new Grand Prix season, Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone is continuing to argue his case for introducing sprinkler systems on race circuits - because, he insists, "wet races are always the best by far".

"There's no reason why sprinklers shouldn't happen," says Ecclestone.

Well, actually, there are several, and they've been put very forcibly by drivers, engineers and safety experts over the past 24 hours.

• It's phoney. Williams technical director Sam Michael said: "It's taking a step too far in terms of making it an orchestrated show."

• It's wasteful. F1 hardly puts out a 'green' message as it is, without wasting millions of litres of water needed to create the wet-race conditions.

• It's unsafe. What happens when the first driver skids into a serious accident because water was purposefully sloshed onto the track for Bernie's sake? The lawyers are licking their lips.
 
• It's wrong-headed. Ecclestone wants his fake rain to appear suddenly, without warning. "Nobody would know when it was going to happen, like when it rains," he said. Wrong. Predicting rain is part of the art of managing an F1 team - they do know it's going to happen.

So, what's next? Drivers are concentrating on their first race of the season - Melbourne this weekend - and have better things to do than comment on Bernie's bonkers proposal, though Red Bull's Mark Webber has spoken against it.

Expert more denouncements once Melbourne is out of the way. In the meantime, expect more jokes from pundits like this one from Radio 5 Live yesterday: "What will Bernie suggest next? A lollipop lady and a bunch of schoolchildren suddenly stepping out in front of the cars?" ·