Sue Townsend and Adrian Mole: their best quotes

Author Sue Townsend has died at 68. Here are some of the best lines from Adrian Mole's diaries

LAST UPDATED AT 11:50 ON Fri 11 Apr 2014

NOVELIST Sue Townsend has died at the age of 68. The author was best known for her books chronicling the life and times of Adrian Mole – first introduced to the world as a teenage boy growing up under Margaret Thatcher's government. 

The suburban underachiever went on to feature in eight books spanning almost 30 years. Townsend said that her hero's experiences mirrored her own in many ways.

Stephen Mangan, the actor who played Adrian Mole in a 2001 BBC series, paid tribute to the late author.

"Greatly upset to hear that Sue Townsend has died," he said. "One of the warmest, funniest and wisest people I ever met."

Novelist Ian Rankin described Townsend's death as "a real loss". Author and columnist Danny Wallace tweeted: "Farewell, brilliant Sue Townsend. Rest in peace, Adrian Mole."

Below is a selection of some of Adrian Mole's finest quotes:

"It has just dawned on me that I have never seen a dead body or a female nipple. This is what comes from living in a cul-de-sac."

"It is no surprise to me that intellectuals commit suicide, go mad or die from drink. We feel things more than other people. We know the world is rotten and that chins are ruined by spots."

"My skin is dead good. I think it must be a combination of being in love and Lucozade."

"I used to be the sort of boy who had sand kicked in his face, now I'm the sort of boy who watches somebody else have it kicked in their face."

"8.45am. My mother is in the hospital grounds smoking a cigarette. She is looking old and haggard. All the debauchery is catching up with her."

"There's only one thing more boring than listening to other people's dreams, and that's listening to their problems."

"Lucas spilt candle-wax over his new suede shoes. It was the only cheerful incident in a tragic day."

"Easter Sunday. Today is the day that Jesus escaped from the cave. I expect that Houdini got the idea from him."

And two of Adrian Mole's best poems:

"Pandora!
I adore ya.
I implore ye
Don't ignore me."

"I am a Tuna fish
Swimming in a sea of discontent.
Oh, when, when,
Will I find the spawning ground?" · 

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