By George! The Mole identifies first big saving

So, David Cameron's government has made it very clear: life will be hell while they tackle the £156bn national deficit. And Chancellor George Osborne, seeking to cut £60bn from Britain's annual running costs, has invited the public to identify those services they think they could do without.
 
Well, may the Mole step forward and suggest the first saving? Let's abolish the Food Standards Agency, the non-ministerial government department (you see, you’re happy for it go already) set up to protect us all from the cupidity of the food industry.
 
Here's my evidence for shutting the FSA - swiftly:
 
Always on the ball, the agency has discovered that the World Cup starts this Friday and - horror! - across Britain awful men with already-fattening paunches will be stuffing themselves with beer and chips and barely moving from the sofa for the best part of a month.
 
Into the breach, the agency has published its World Cup 2010 healthy eating advice – 1,500 words of it, at taxpayers' expense.
 
Peppered with patronising exclamation marks  - "Don't just watch! That doesn't count as being active!" - the helpful advice is cunningly couched in the vernacular, thus appealing to football fans, who don't talk proper, innit.

"Keep an eye on the drink," advises one heading, which the Mole feels works best in a Phil Mitchell-style cockney growl. Another section takes place "down the pub", while a third is all about "sparking up the barbecue".
 
Hilariously, this faux-bloke argot is juxtaposed with mimsy observations like: "Enjoying the match at your local pub can be great fun, but the snack and meal choices tend to be limited."
 
And what's the FSA’s actual advice? "Wash your hands regularly"... "make sure chicken, pork, burgers, sausages and kebabs are cooked"... "remember not to eat takeaways too often"... "don't feel pressured to drink more than you want to"... "don't ask for extra cheese"... and, wait for it, "share your chips".

Best of all is this gem: "Regardless of how well your team is doing on the field, food poisoning could really spoil the fun."
 
It's hard to know who the FSA imagines will read these condescending platitudes, let alone act on them. Anybody stupid enough to eat raw meat, or not familiar with the concept of hand-washing, would seems unlikely to be trawling the internet for non-ministerial government advice on barbecues.
 
Set up by Tony Blair 10 years ago, the agency is supposed to represent the public interest after it occurred to somebody – perfectly sensibly - that perhaps the Ministry for Agriculture, Fisheries and Food shouldn’t be in charge of both public food safety and maximising profits for food producers.

But if this is the best the FSA can do, Osborne should have it for breakfast. ·