Where’s a kick-boxing Sam Cam when you need her?
Back in London, Cameron faces grim headlines as the crisis gets closes in on Downing Street
David Cameron could do with his own 'Crouching Tiger, Flying Wendi' support today after Rupe's wife, Wendi Deng, led the way by laying into the 'foam pie' attacker in Westminster yesterday. But Sam Cam doesn't do kick-boxing.
That's unfortunate. Having flown back to London last night to face the Commons over the political fallout from the phone hacking scandal at the Murdoch empire, the Prime Minister needs all the help he can get.
The disclosure that Neil Wallis, former deputy editor of the News of the World, was advising Andy Coulson, the ex-editor of the now deceased Murdoch rag, shows breath-taking bad judgment by Cameron and gives Ed Miliband, the Labour leader, a big stick to beat him with.
The release of e-mails by Downing Street yesterday showing that his Number 10 chief of staff Ed Llewellyn told John Yates, then assistant commissioner of the Met, not to raise the hacking scandal at a private meeting because he wanted to distance the PM from the fallout, reveals how they are panicking inside Downing Street over the impact this could have on Cameron's future.
The bookies' odds on Cameron being forced to follow Yates, Sir Paul Stephenson, Les Hinton and Rebekah Brooks by resigning by this weekend have shortened to 16/1. Even the Tory-supporting Fraser Nelson, writing on the Spectator's website, agrees with today's headline in the Indy – that the crisis is getting closer to Cameron, and it shows how 'dysfunctional' was the Tory machine before the election.
After Murdoch's 'bewildered old man' appearance before the culture select committee, there is a real danger that the Murdoch phone-hacking story will begin to run into the sand as people get bored until there are possible prosecutions in the autumn.
But the allegations of how the Murdoch empire corrupted police in high places has got plenty of legs and that could put more heat under Cameron to go.
In a specially recalled Parliament (MPs have delayed packing their buckets and spades until Thursday) he will make a statement to the House of Commons on the terms of reference for the investigations into police corruption and nepotism – Wallis's daughter was employed by the Met.
Then he will open an emergency debate on the hacking scandal before meeting the 1922 Committee of Tory backbenchers who want assurances from daddy that it will be all right in the night.
At least one Tory grandee the Mole spoke to overnight is confident they can weather the storm. "William Hague says it is a tidal wave that will just wash over us," he said. "And Dave can do a brilliant handbrake turn, so he will survive."
There is also a diplomatic answer to the Tory backbench criticism of Cameron for being out of the country while the brown stuff hit the Tory fans.
Tory MPs have been privately told that the Foreign Office told Cameron that South Africa and Nigeria, the two countries he visited, were 'swing states' in the UN on votes such as Libya… but then the war in Libya is another fine mess Dave has got us into.
You can almost hear Cameron saying: "Sam – can you punch Ed Miliband in the head?"