Kate Moss ‘horny’, Richard Keys accused of racism

From political intrigue, to business scandal to scurrilous tales of the rich and famous, our trawl through the gutters of Britain's Sunday papers is posted before 12 noon every week.

ITALIANS HOPE BERLUSCONI WILL DO A MUBARAKThousands of women are taking to the streets of 200 Italian towns today in a day of protest against sex-scandal-mired PM, Silvio Berlusconi, says the Sunday Telegraph. Prosecutors are pushing for a trial over allegations the Teflon-coated 74-year-old paid for sex with a 17-year-old dancer, Ruby the Heartbreaker. At a smaller demo in Rome yesterday, protestors chanted: "After Mubarak, Berlsuconi."
CLEGG 'UNDERMINING' PM'S BIG SOCIETY PLANLib Dem leader Nick Clegg is undermining David Cameron's attempt to get his 'Big Society' initiative back on track by saying it's a waste of time, according to the Mail on Sunday. The paper's political editor claims Tory officials are furious that the deputy PM has done nothing to support the Prime Minister as he prepares to make a keynote speech on Monday defending the project. It is even reported that the term 'Big Society' is not allowed in Clegg's office.

'HORNY' KATE MOSS GOES SHOPPING IN SOHOCustomers at the Simply Pleasure sex shop in Soho were surprised to see model Kate Moss stocking up on vibrators last week, so soon after confirming that she had become engaged to Kills guitarist Jamie Hince. According to the News of the World, Moss, accompanied by female friends, shouted: "I'm horny and I'm in a sex shop" before falling over, apparently drunk. She left with seven "Bullet" vibrators, and a "large black sex toy" priced at £55.
NIGELLA AND THE GIRLSCelebrity cook Nigella Lawson, asked by Europe's biggest selling lesbian magazine, Diva - whose latest cover she graces - whether she ever 'dabbled', admitted she had once had a crush on another girl at school. "I remember there was a very beautiful Egyptian girl called Nilgen. I was allowed to go and make her bed every day." Deep breath and stay calm, everybody, says the Sunday Times diarist, Atticus.

OSCAR WINNERS TOLD TO KEEP SPEECHES SHORTThe organisers of the Oscars have sent a DVD to every nominee with tips on keeping the traditionally prolix acceptance speech short, the Sunday Times reports. This year, tearful winners intent on thanking everybody from their parents to God will get 45 seconds before the orchestra drowns them out. "Looking down to read a long list of names only shows us your bald spot," warns Tom Hanks in the film.
RICHARD KEYS ACCUSED OF RACIST SLURAs Richard Keys and Andy Gray take their double act to Talksport, having left Sky TV following the recent sexism row, the Sunday Mirror has dug up a racist comment Keys allegedly made 11 years ago when commenting on the eligibility of Jamaican-born David Johnson to play for Scotland. "He looks like a Scot," said Graeme Souness, to which Keys replied: "Choco Jocko". Ged Gebby, head of the Show Racism the Red Card campaign, called the comment "outrageous".
OSBORNE 'MUST STICK TO HIS LINE'George Osborne should be realistic about the spending cuts and not use his March 23 Budget to raise false hopes, says columnist Matthew d'Ancona in the Sunday Telegraph. "He cannot make the cuts painless, any more than he can satisfy the public's taste for bankers' blood. His Budget cannot change the fact that the country is still in the early stages of deeply unpleasant remedial treatment. What he can do, however, is look like a man with a plan. What he can do is look in control."

GAY COUPLES TO WED IN CHURCHThe Government is to scrap the ban on same-sex civil partnership ceremonies being carried out in places of worship. Gay and lesbian couples will be allowed ceremonies including bible readings and hymns, and will be able to call each other "husband" or "wife". The changes will "end the legal definition of marriage as a relationship between a man and a woman" reports a worried Mail on Sunday.
ERIN O'CONNOR: CATWALK DESIGNS DON'T FIT MESupermodel Erin O'Connor, dubbed the "best in the world" by Karl Lagerfeld, has complained that the designs she takes to the catwalk are too small. According to the Observer, speaking at an event to debate the dominance of size zero models, O'Connor said: "At one show I couldn't get into the trousers. The designer said, 'What happened to you?' I replied … make your trousers bigger."
MEPS' EXPENSES 'RACKET' EXPOSEDMembers of the European Parliament queue up in Brussels at 7 am on Friday mornings to claim their £258 daily attendance allowance, before taking taxis to the airport or the Eurostar station to return home, according to an investigation by the News of the World. With the help of British MEP Nikki Sinclair, who agreed to expose her "disgraceful" colleagues, the newspaper photographed several MEPs "clocking on" for the allowance and then, sometimes only minutes later, heading for home.
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