Porn websites in Brazil plea, as Thomas Muller busts a move

PORN WEBSITES IN BRAZIL PLEA

Brazil's World Cup humiliation has reached new heights, says The Independent, as reports emerge that users have been uploading highlights of Tuesday's historic semi-final defeat to adult websites. Videos bearing titles like 'Young Brazilians get f**ked by entire German soccer team' (and other sexual expletives) have allegedly "flooded" internet porn sites following the host's 7-1 drubbing in Belo Horizonte. The online gag has reportedly become so widespread that one site has been forced to issue users with this tongue-in-cheek request:

A THRASHING FOR ETERNITY

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And the online misery keeps on coming for the Selecao as another site, not satisfied with the 7-1 scoreline in regular time, has kept the agony going to see what would have happened if the final whistle had never come at Belo Horizonte. Working on the premise that Germany score seven goals and Brazil one every two hours (taking half time and stoppages into account) the 'Brazil vs Germany – Game for Eternity' website reveals what the scoreline would be right now if the teams were still playing.

TEARFUL NEYMAR BACKS ARGENTINA

There were more tears from a Brazil star yesterday when crocked striker Neymar broke down in tears as he spoke about the back injury that ended his tournament, and almost his career. The 22-year-old suffered a fractured vertebrae in a clash with Colombian defender Juan Zuniga. "I thank God for helping me, because if that blow had been a few inches lower I would have risked being paralysed," said Neymar. The Brazil icon also backed Argentina to win the final, as his teammates Lionel Messi and Javier Mascherao are playing.

LIONEL MESSI RUNNING ON EMPTY

Hopes that Lionel Messi will be able shrug off the lethargy that came over him in the semi-final against Holland may be optimistic after his father claimed that the Argentina genius was suffering from fatigue after a gruelling season with Barcelona. Jorge Messi told the Brazilian paper Folha de Sao Paulo: "Leo said it felt like his legs weighed 100 kilos. He was very tired." Although influential in the early stages of the tournament, Messi has failed to score in the knockout stages and was man marked against Holland.

MOVES LIKE MULLER

Struggling for a reason not to support Germany in the World Cup final? How about the prospect of watching Thomas Muller dancing? A video of the Bayern Munich forward strutting his stuff in what looks like Lederhosen in a nightclub has begun doing the rounds on the internet. And while no-one can deny his timing and movement are lethal in front of goal the came cannot be said when he is on the dancefloor. His efforts make Nobby Stiles look like Justin Timberlake.

THE GAME NO-ONE WANTS TO PLAY

Netherlands coach Louis van Gaal has labelled Saturday's World Cup third-place playoff with Brazil a "match that should never be played". The soon-to-be Man United boss said the consolation game "has nothing to do with sport" and urged Fifa to scrap it. "No tournament should have players playing for third or fourth place. There is only one award that counts for anything and that is becoming world champions", said Van Gaal. The game is an unwanted test of character for shattered Brazil, who lost 7-1 in the semi-final.