Man who married sex doll dumps her for an ashtray

A bodybuilder who married a sex doll and then struggled to remain faithful has said he is now in love with an ashtray. Yuri Tolochko insisted he has moved on since his split from Margo the doll and is building a new life with the ashtray. The Kazakh muscleman was recently captivated by the ashtray in a club and now hopes to fashion a vagina for it so they can get intimately acquainted.

Priest says demons can send text messages

A priest has claimed that demons have now figured out how to send unpleasant text messages. Stephen Rossetti said: “We have had three cases in which demons have texted the team and/or the family of the possessed person.” He claims that evil interference in technology is nothing new, pointing to a history of demons flicking lights on and off and targeting televisions.

Elephant in historic twins birth

An elephant in Sri Lanka has given birth to twins for the first time in nearly 80 years, wildlife authorities said. The calves, both male, were born to 25-year-old Surangi at Pinnawala Elephant Orphanage in the central hills of the country. Their father, 17-year-old Pandu, is also an orphanage resident. Elephant experts in Sri Lanka said twins were last born to a domesticated elephant in the country in 1941.