Postman Pat conspiracy theory ‘changes everything’

Another childhood-ruining conspiracy theory has emerged online, this time with mild-mannered postie Postman Pat in its sights. Online wags have pointed out that the star of the BBC children’s television series was the only person with red hair in his village of Greendale, yet the local school is full of red-headed children. The long noses of local kids are also being compared to the postman’s own lengthy beak.

“I still wonder what Postman Pat does when he's off work,” joked one tweeter.

Holidaying Brit hospitalised after falling during romp

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A British man was hospitalised after he and his lover fell from a balcony in the south of France. Eyewitnesses said the 30-year-old Brit and his Canadian lover were making love on the balcony of their holiday rental flat. “They were becoming very passionate indeed, and suddenly toppled from the first floor of the villa into the street below,” said one.

Area 51 brothel enjoying spike in enquiries

A sci-fi-themed brothel near Area 51 has noted an uptick in interest since a social media call to storm the mysterious Nevada air base hit the headlines. The owner of Alien Cathouse said: “In addition to the obvious sci-fi, alien or extraterrestrial theme our brothel as of current caters more to the visitor that is looking for the porn star experience niche.”

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